They Make Beers Outside New England? News to Me!

So far we’ve blogged about Narragansett, Sam Adams, and B’s Best Bombshell Brews from the Bnortheast, so you may be sensing, our dear readers (read: reader) that we’re biased towards New England beers (we are). Turns out we’re actually not!

When I moved back to Portsmouth from Cincinnati in January I knew it would be ages until I had the opportunity to drink any of that sweet, sweet Midwestern nectar again. To combat this, I literally brought a box full of my personal favorite regional beers (purchased at Jungle Jim’s (man I miss Jungle Jim’s!)) with the intention of drinking them either a) by myself, wallowing in my own sorrow and homesickness or b) with some friends, introducing them to some regional flare.

Unfortunately neither option materialized in the way I envisioned, mostly because the nectar on the Seacoast is just as sweet (obviously), but also because I try to convince people that I’m a generous guy and ended up giving a few of the 6-ers away.

Which brings me to the inevitable “what did I bring?” and “what the hell happened to it!?” phase of the post (what say you, reader? You want a table?)


Name the Beverage, Champ
How was it?
Take a guess: Where are the empties?
Christian Moerlein Lager House
Split this one with my roommate on my first night in town, which due to mass of snow falling, was not the best atmosphere for this beer. I consider Lager House to be a great BBQ beer, second only to the mastery known as Oberon.
Collected at my house and sent to the Portsmouth Recycling Center.
Bell’s Expedition Stout
I’ve been attempting, for no less than 3 years, to age a 6 pack of this and I come far from having the will power. Expedition Stout is your quintessential coffee / chocolate Stout – heavy, high APV (10%-ish), pours dark as death with a little light brown head that lingers. If you ever come across this stuff you’ll be doing yourself a huge favor by stocking up.
Collected at my house and sent to the Portsmouth Recycling Center. Still a few kicking around in my room in another vein attempt to age this.
New Holland The Poet (Oatmeal Stout)
No clue – gifted (to B actually. Maybe he can scriddip a write up?)
Collected near Market St. and sent to the Portsmouth Recycling Center.
Founder’s Dirty Bastard (Scottish Ale)
Drinking 3 sips of this stuff gives me hangovers like there’s no tomorrow, which when that “tomorrow” after drinking this stuff actually comes, puts me in intense pain (possible culprit – the 9.5% APV). It’s too bad really – because for a Scottish Ale this guy a) packs a punch and b) tastes delicious – a little hoppy actually. I gave the bulk of these out.
Various locations around Portsmouth.
Founder’s Breakfast Stout
No clue – gifted
Collected somewhere in Dover-town and sent to their recycling center -or- still full, sitting in someone’s fridge.
Bell’s Best Brown Ale
No clue – gifted
I gave these away to some friends in Ohio, so they’re sitting in the trash somewhere in the Cincinnati suburbs (ugh).
Bell’s Hopslam
Expect to hear more, a lot more, about this beer soon as there’s not enough good to say about it. I only purchased one of these because they’re pricey and split it with a friend. This is the hoppiest beer on the planet, so if you’re not a fan, don’t touch it.
Collected at my house and sent to the Portsmouth Recycling Center.
Goose Island 312
Drank this (all of it, yes. That’s why it’s last in the table) during an overnight stay in Buffalo. It’s the Chicago attempt at an unfiltered white ale (a la, yes it’s mentioned again, Oberon). I’m still partial to the Bell’s offerings, but I’ll drink this on tap any time I can find it.
Collected at a hotel in Buffalo and recycled (hopefully) somewhere nearby.

If you’re like me you’re thinking “well that sure was a lot of useless information and half-assed reviews.” Read between the lines ya Turkey! The lesson here is that bringing beers East with the intention of running a side-by-side East-Midwest style comparison will ultimately fail. Enjoy ’em with some friends and don’t look back.

Unless you write for a beer blog.

– Johnnie P